The Kindness of Strangers

Amazing how a person can completely revamp your moment. Your day. Your life.

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This morning, my alarm went off at 6am to prepare me for the day of all days: the day I do my make-up tests. I promptly shut off my alarm and snuggled back into bed, reasoning that John's alarm would ring at 6:20am and I could get up then.

6:20am. Without fail, John's alarm goes off. He shuts it off and curls back into bed. I'm staring off into the darkness, debating if I should keep sleeping until his second alarm goes off at 7am. I could get away with it, my inner voice coos. If I get up at 7, I would be at the school around 8-8:15. My first test isn't until 9...

"...I should really review though," I argue. With a sigh, I concur that it's probably not a good idea to chance that, drag myself out of bed, and get ready for the day. I arrive at the school at 7:30, get a coffee, sit down, and start to review. I'm actually feeling quite good, all things considered. At 9, I go up to the Psych office to do my test, and the invigilator surprises me with some not-so-great news.

"So... your teacher actually hasn't dropped off your test," she explains.

"Um... what?"

"Yeah, it's strange. Hm... let me see his schedule--" she shuffles through some paperwork as I begin to sweat bullets. "...He has a class until 10. Would you be able to do your test then?"

"Well, I have another make-up test from 12 to 2, so that really wouldn't be fun..." I explain with a meek smile.

"Alright. Let me check a few other places."

So she does and comes up empty. "...Let's rebook your test then. I'm really sorry... but at least you can study for your other test!"

"True," I agree. It was at that point that I realized I hadn't studied for my second test yet, and that maybe fate was looking out for me. I rebook for tomorrow at 9am and go to get some lunch.

That's when I encountered this girl...

"Ah, soup, huh?" she remarks.

I look up from ladling my cheddar broccoli soup and smile warily. "Yeah. I love soup." Recognition sweeps over me: this girl has talked to me before at the soup station. I don't know her, only that she works for the school in food services.

"Oh dear, you look so tired... did you rest during your reading break?"

"I tried to. I was really sick throughout the break, so I didn't really do anything. Even that didn't help," I explain.

"Oh you poor thing. Well things will be okay." She smiles and touches my hand lightly. "It's okay, things will work out."

I return her smile and nod before taking my leave. And thereafter, I couldn't stop thinking about her. She was right, after all: things would be okay. I just needed to keep at it.

---

In our society, people don't talk to strangers. People like me were raised to believe that strangers were bad. They would hurt you if you talked to them. Don't trust strangers. Especially young girls. Don't trust anyone, lest you want to be raped.

My mum granted me independence at an early age, but was still cautious with what I did sometimes. She once told me she didn't mind me traveling to Florida by myself at 15 years old because airports were safe, but was hesitant to let me go downtown by myself. After some convincing (not much) that I knew how to take care of myself, she let me do as I pleased. That's when I began to learn that some strangers aren't all that bad.

I used to play DDR downtown a lot, sometimes by myself. I met a lot of wonderful people down there, some of whom are still my friends now. As a band manager, I talked to strangers all of the time, be it over the phone or in person. Then I started to work in a restaurant. Before I knew it, I was always striking up a friendly conversation with people I didn't know. Would I say it hindered me in some way? Absolutely not. And lo and behold, I haven't been raped, either, despite commuting across the city, alone, on transit, at 11-12 at night.

That isn't to say I'm not cautious when I talk to people I don't know. I think all of my experience has helped me in the sense that I can feel if someone is good or bad. I think that's what people in our society need: training in that area of life, not to live a life of fear. I don't want to disregard peoples' bad experiences, either. Self-awareness is a powerful ally, though.

The girl I met today... I saw her again later. She was going up and down the line at the Tim Horton's at the school, asking people how their day was going. It was an interesting thing to witness. I gauged peoples' reactions to this... Most replied in clipped, one-word sentences, trying to get her to move on. One other, though, had a pleasant conversation with her. Not to say I was eavesdropping... I wasn't, really (it's just a waitress thing). I took note of their smiles and the fact that he acknowledged her by looking right into her eyes while he spoke to her. I smiled, too.

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Times are changing. Acceptance is everywhere... barriers surrounding cliques are dissolving, very rarely do people flinch at the GBLT community, and things who were once regarded as "strange" and "odd" and "taboo" are now becoming normal. I can see the seeds of change being sewn also with strangers, which makes my heart smile, because-- especially in Calgary-- people tend to keep to themselves in public settings (except if you were blessed with the social butterfly gene, of course). I think this small victory by humanity is definitely a step in the right direction.

Until next time...

Thinking led me here

It's been about one and a half weeks where my body has been compromised in some way or another. The sickness is gone, that small dose of Yellow Fever disappeared as quickly as it came, and the only thing I'm suffering from is a full head, heavy heart, and the occasional sharp stomach pain (which I've had since about the time we left for Banff last weekend). Even that is getting better though. Not nearly as constant or as painful. This is a reason to be happy, please, people!

In that week and a half, I have been so uninspired to do anything. I knew I needed to study but couldn't bring myself to find a spark to actually get up and do it. Today is my last day of my break, and I have the 2 tests I got deferred before the break tomorrow to do. I will be studying today (aka cramming and praying for mercy from the Spanish and Research Methods gods... but obviously after I make this blog post). What I did during the break was play Final Fantasy 13, hang out with friends, and worked. You know... breaky things. Which is good! ...usually.

I also did a lot of critical thinking, as playing FF13 is quite* mindless, and it granted me time to do so. I wondered why I had no motivation to study. A lot of the time, I had no motivation to leave the house to work. All I wanted to do was sit there. It also seemed that, no matter how much sleep I got, I was still tired. Dark bags accent my eyes frequently, though this week, they were pronounced more than usual and accompanied with a lack of will to do anything. I realized I was worried sick about myself.

Stupid, stupid, stupid beautiful game. UGH. ...Lightning is hot...

I tried to talk myself into just getting through this semester and going off to Ghana, having a blast, and taking a well-needed break in the Fall. My mind counteracted by reminding me that I still had a lot of other responsibilities that, because I was so busy with school and things, I was putting on the back burner (ie: executor duties, landlady duties, getting together with my father and my father's friend and others that I have wanted to see for months...). I flirted with the idea of withdrawing from a class. I also considered working less... somehow. I really did need to find more time for my own studies, but I couldn't justify leaving commitments to help people who really needed it because of my needs. John also needs money for rent and things... I wish I could articulate to you all how saintly this man is, but words simply can't express it. He's too patient, too lenient, and too caring. He says I shouldn't work myself to death to pay him for rent... but me, as a person, can't accept that. I wouldn't allow myself to sleep at night knowing I was acting like a freeloader.

Needless to say, I was in a pickle for a week and a half. But I think I finally got it yesterday.

I was on my way to work, looking out the window and thinking. Everything I'm doing now, I love. It just seems to be too much all at once. I love ITG. I do. It sets me free from the monotony that is school, work, and studying. I'm constantly improving and one-upping myself when it comes to that game. I'm constantly pushing myself to do better. I need that sort of motivation for studying. I remind myself that it's only about 2 more months till the end of this semester, and Spring semester is actually going to be insanely fun with some assignments, so it's not even school (this is my vision, anyway). I understand that sometimes, you need a break from the monotony-- that's what I did when I left the restaurant each time. I was breaking the monotony, and when I returned, I was happier than ever. I needed to make some choices to give me a break in the monotony of here and now. Sure, I have a plan for the Fall semester, but that's a half a year away. I needed help now. But how? (I'm the world's most awesome poet, I know)

So... after nearly 1.5 weeks of being sick, be it randomly or vaccine induced, I'm here, at this point. A proverbial fork in the road, as it were. I am deciding if I want to drop a class, drop a shift at the restaurant, drop a few tutoring shifts at the school, do a little of everything, or plow through it all and possibly break something (like my brain) at the end of it all. The latter choice would certainly be more bittersweet if I crawled out of that unscathed. But I'm thinking of what I need now. And what I need is to stop treating my body like it's a machine.
...Because even machine's break down.
...And my body is a temple.
...And all those other insightful, sage-like comments on bodies. 

 Speaking of bodies, I'm still not taking healthy care of mine. I thought about that also this week, while standing over the sink, doing dishes, to be exact. Little people on each shoulder were arguing back and forth for me about this one.

Angel: "Don't you remember your New Years' resolutions? You should really start to work on those..." (freeing up time may help in this regard. Another thing I need to take into consideration before choosing a path).

Devil: "Yeah but... for all we know, this life is the one shot we have. Why ruin it by limiting yourself and your choices and opportunities? You also want to experience as much new stuff as you can... remember that?"

... Sigh. I do love food (I'm not talking to myself out loud here, I swear).

Pickle, indeed! ..I wish there was pickle delivery...!

...And without further ado, I should really get to studying for those tests. Thanks for reading my ramblings!

Until next time!

*Any non-gamer has no idea. Pretty game or not, this game requires little to no effort. I tried to put effort into it, and apparently effort makes you lose. So... thought that needed an explanation. 

PS: You may have noticed a new blog title. This is also a product of my thinking. I will be expanding on this soon, I hope. Again... Soon-to-be-remedied time issues.

7 Random Facts Award

Hey all!

I was linked by Caity at The Skinny On Me for a 7 Random Facts award! A huge thank you goes out to this little lady, and I think it's incredibly sweet of her to link me! I'll see if there's 7 random facts about myself, but... I honestly don't think there is. I'll try though!

1. I have an aversion to small pills. Like... when I say small, I mean tiny. This all came about when I had to take a birth control pill and accidentally bit into it. The taste was the worst... I gagged and stood there, shaking and sick for a few minutes, and couldn't bring myself to take birth control pills again. The thought of taking them makes my stomach churn, actually. Needless to say, I've found other methods.

2. I was a member of this activity called the "Science Olympics" for 4 years through grade school, and was a group leader of the Olympics for 3 of those years. We actually never scored high enough to win anything, but it was fun. On more than one occasion, I persuaded some of the judges to allow us an extra time trial here and there or something. It was possibly around that point that I subconsciously realized I had a way with persuasion.

3. In the arcade where I used to frequently play Dance Dance Revolution, parents would give me tokens to keep playing. This was before I was actually any good (I was still a standard player at this point), but for some reason, they loved to watch me play and would give me tokens. It was nice. I've always had a way with adults, though.... I suppose that came from the maturity beyond my years aspect of my life.

4. I was engaged when I was 17-18 years old to a musician in Florida. Which leads me to...

5. I was once a band/road manager for said musician's band. I do miss those days sometimes. It was quite carefree, as the band was Irish, and everyone we met was accepting and kind. Music and dance till the wee hours of the morning. Traveling everywhere. 

6. I've been on the liner notes of two CD's. That's pretty neat, I would say. Flattering and humbling, too.

7. I've seen more of the US than I have of my home country of Canada. This is mostly due to the band manager thing, as they never came up into Canada, but I also blame family vacations and dating an American. The US is so neat though, and I do truly love it.

Now... for the rules:

1. Thank the person who gave you the award and link back to their blog.
2. Post seven random facts about yourself.
3. Pass on the award along to 15 other worthy bloggers.

I will tag people, but like last time, I don't expect you all to participate if you don't want to. If anything, I'll be advertising your blog and calling you worthy. ;P

So here goes!

1. Dom at Lije's Mindstate
2. Tara at The Word For Love Is...
3. Kim at kimmyConduct
4. Rhea at Sparkover
5. Angela at Craving Cupcakes
6. Micaela at mikaeraです
7. Graham at The Ramblings of a Gay Spaz
8. Tanya at Musings of a Bus Bum
9. Lily at Is it too early for a martini?
10. Rio at Good Music, Bad Math
11. Kate at Blateration
12. Tasha at a girl & her blog....
13. PsyDet at Confessions of a Grad School Bride
14. Alycia at Wait For Me
15. Amanda at The Long Road Set


Phew... =)

The Road to Ghana: Vaccination Adventures, part 1

Last week, I had booked my vaccination appointment and consultation with a travel clinic here in the city. They had warned me of a 24-hour cancellation fee, which I shrugged at. No big deal. I was going to do this, and do it like a pro.

A day after I had made the appointment, I began to get sick. It seemed like just a cold: headache (that tylenol couldn't pacify, curiously enough), runny nose, sneezing, coughing. I didn't think much of it. I took cold meds while in Banff (I know, I still need to talk about that, and will!) which helped somewhat, but I was still very sick in the evenings with pains and couldn't sleep. Again, I didn't think much of it.

I went to work on Monday. I was fine most of the night, actually. I started to feel aches and was in a cold sweat for the last couple of hours. Thankfully for me, it was quiet and I had a group of my friends there, so I could relax. I went home afterwards, took some more meds, and waited for them to kick in before going to sleep at midnight. I was up the next morning at 7am for my vaccination trip.

I was very tired. I didn't feel all that sick... a little dizzy, but that was probably because I hadn't eaten much. I ate a slice of cold pizza and then didn't really have the will to eat anymore. Alright... that's okay. I got to the clinic quite early-- an hour early, in fact-- despite me having to run an errand before getting there and taking transit. Efficiency is sometimes inconvenient, like it was then.

My appointment was set for 10:30. I was called in at 10:45 after nodding off multiple times. Inefficiency is also inconvenient sometimes. I met with a nurse who told me what vaccinations I would need for the trip off of the same website I had done my research on. Neato! ...except that I had to pay $70 for this "consult." Not so neat.

She explained to me that all of these various shots would be "a good idea" to get. She said those exact words each and every time. 8 times. I shrugged each time and said, "Okay," all the while doing the calculations in my head for these vaccinations. Including the $70 consult fee, I would be paying over $500 for these vaccinations. And that's not even including the pills I'll need to take for malaria and the possible diarrhea/bladder infection medicine I agreed to also sign up for.

"It would be a good idea for you to get this menangencoccal vaccine," she began. "Meningitis is a very deadly disease--"

"I know what meningitis is," I interrupted as politely as I could. Without looking at her, I explained that my youngest sister had it when she was little.

"Oh my goodness! Is she okay?"

"Yes," I replied.

"How scary of an experience that must have been for you..."

In my head, I was thinking this lady had no idea how it felt for a 10 year old to get told that her youngest sister had a 20% chance of living. I bit my tongue about the shoddy health care system then, how my sister's odds could have improved drastically if she hadn't waited in a waiting room for 8 hours with no help and no one batting an eyelash at her situation... and how it still hasn't changed to this day. Instead of raging, I nodded. "...Yeah. She's okay though, so I can be thankful for that." Insert forced smile here.

She told me afterwards that I could get all of my immunizations done that day. "I would love to, but I don't have the money, unfortunately," I explained. She nodded, saying she understood, and to talk to the doctor about which ones I wanted done today. I was then whisked off to the "doctor."

The "doctor" sounded like Rini from Sailor Moon. She was a very petite little Asian woman with a very, very high-pitched and cutesy voice. Despite this, something about her put me at ease. We made small talk and discussed which vaccinations to get. I picked out 4 and sat down on the bench.

It's very difficult to take vaccinations seriously when you have this image in your head...

"I had a friend who was absolutely terrified of needles," I told her, watching her fill the needles and set them down in an organized manner. "She would always tense... probably the worst thing a person could do."

"Oh, for sure! ...I hope you're not afraid of needles..." she said, turning to look at me with a hint of concern.

"No."

"Good. So which arm is your dominant arm?"

I said my right. She explained the pros and cons of getting the needles done in your dominant arm. I reasoned that getting two in each arm would be good. She then explained that the yellow fever shot was live and that I would feel flu-like symptoms in 6-8 hours, and possibly again in a week. I acknowledged the information with a shrug and probably an "okay." The procedure was pretty quick and painless. Only the yellow fever shot bled a lot. Little did I know that it was possibly that which sealed my fate that day.

---

I went about the day as planned. I met up with some friends, ate, and then went to play ITG. My first clue should have been that playing easy songs was exhausting... that I was very hot and sweating profusely from doing something so simple. I ignored it and kept on until John came to pick me up. We were heading to dinner when I suddenly felt terrible. It was around this time where I had read replies to my Facebook

In the restaurant, I couldn't stop shivering. I had a fur-lined hoodie on and many layers. My hands were tingly and freezing cold. John held my hands but that didn't really help. I put them over the candle, which only helped so much. I was starving... I thought. I ate a couple wings and then no longer had an appetite. I was shivering so much that my body would tense... and every time my body tensed, my stomach lurched. We got the food packed up 20 minutes after getting there and started to head home.

On the way to the car, I started to cry. I was so scared. My entire body was in pain at this point. I was cold everywhere except for my neck and face. The crying gave me a headache. John reminded me that I needed to calm down. It was true... crying was making me tense and hurt worse.

So I breathed through it. In the car and once I got home, I breathed through it all. I took some pills and laid in bed with layer upon layer of clothes and blankets. My hands were in pain. I breathed through the pain and eventually the cold. I breathed through the headache. It didn't take long for me to calm down and start to sleep. In the back of my mind, I was thanking my relaxation and meditation teacher, even though I sprained my ankle in that class and got a B+ because I couldn't physically do dynamic stretching with the rest of the class. Jerk. But at that moment, he helped me.

Throughout the night, I would wake up, go to the bathroom, drink more water, and go back to sleep. I took note of the thick layer of sweat on my stomach and back each time. Eventually, the headache came back, so at around 3am, I ate my other slice of pizza from earlier in the day, took more pills, and slept on the couch. It wasn't fair for John to have to deal with my constant tossing and turning when he had to be at work the next morning... not only that, but I wasn't sure if I would make him sick, too.

And... that's where I'm at. It's about 10:50am now and I'm still suffering from the occassional fever or chills and body aches. I'm forcing myself not to take tylenol and let my body work with the fever, all the while, keeping an eye on it. I got an e-mail from the teacher for the Africa trip assuring the students that the trip wasn't cancelled. My first thought was, "If I suffered through all of this for nothing, I would be choked," followed by my second thought of, "...who was under the impression the trip was cancelled?" Either way, I recount this adventure for you over a bowl of now-cold mushroom soup and a cup of lukewarm orange spice tea. And I leave you with this:

My heart-shaped, swollen needle mark.

...I'm gunna be okay.

Until next time!

Sick days = the real, glamourous life of yours truly

I think going hard up until this point has gone and made me sick. Or perhaps it was John's fault. Either way, I had to take my last two days before school off due to an incurable headache, congestion, and just overall fatigue.

The first day of being sick was boring, to say the least. I spent the day sending in assignments and rescheduling tests and fretting over how I will ask to reschedule my tests from my teachers ("Do I send them an e-mail?" Call?" "This e-mail sounds stupid and lame... what if they don't let me reschedule my exams...?"). After having some encouragement from the people online at the time, I sent some e-mails and got both of my tests deferred. And then I went to sleep for a while.

Today was a little more productive. I did laundry, finished a game that I've been meaning to finish for... about half a year now: Tales of Vesperia. It took all of 20 minutes to do. For an anti-climatic 5 minute ending, I was pretty bummed out. One of the character's-- Yuri-- is pretty dreamy. I knew I would miss him dearly... even if he was a big murderer (I think that's where most of the appeal came from, in all honestly. Just this guy being a hard-ass).

Needs more lensflaire for dreamyness factor.

John suggested I start Final Fantasy 13 next. Pretty valid suggestion, seeing as I bought the game on launch (March 9, 2010), with a collectors edition strategy guide, and have failed to open either yet. And... thankfully for me, I still don't need to open my copy because I just borrowed it from a friend. So I decided to play that.

First impressions:
- Vanille is annoying. This chick can't get her accent straight. What is it? Pick one and go with it.
- Pretty game. Very visually appealing. In fact, so visually appealing that sometimes, I'll catch myself playing around with the camera angles and admiring the detail of the characters, the scenery, etc.
- I've played this game before. It reminds me a lot of... Final Fantasy 10. Hmm...
- ... wait a tic. That voice sounds familiar... Yuri?!

...Yeaah. That's right. I consulted a friend of mine (old co-worker from Gamestop) who confirmed for me that Snow's voice actor is the same as Yuri: Troy Baker. The stars aligned. Fate knew my geek crush and led me to play this game that I had no interest in until boredom called. Ah... I like when things just work out. I like Yuri better though. Snow seems like a ... a person I'm not interested in. Too ... heroic... optimistic... blonde... You know. =P

Still sort of badass... I guess.

Once John got home, we went to play ITG. If I may just suggest to anyone thinking playing ITG while congested and sick: not a good idea. I did some stuff, and I'm still paying for it 4 hours later. Don't even ask me why I'm still awake at 1:30 in the morning. I threw sense and reason out the window way earlier.

This song is long, and I'm lazy. Ugh... woes of a semi-pro ITG player. UGH.

 ...And then passed another 12. That was about the point where I began to die in my chest. Ah... oh well.

---

Tomorrow (later today, technically), John and I will be celebrating our Valentine's day in the mountains at one of the nicest hotels, the Fairmont Banff Springs. Other than oogling the place, I'm not sure what we'll do in Banff. There's been a rumour for years now that the Banff Springs hotel has a DDR machine. We will confirm or deny this rumour. We may go to the hot springs, as well.

The Fairmont Banff Springs: could very well double as Hogwarts.

Instead of speculating, I will write a post about our adventures after the fact. Sounds good? Good... because now I'm tired...

Until next time!

Wordless Wednesday #4

My Bloody Valentine

...Not sure where I've heard that before, but it feels fitting.

Yesterday morning, after sleeping in and completely missing my window of opportunity to hand in my passport (my bad...), I woke up to my alarm that was reset for 8am and blood dripping down my nose. Poor Buster was just staring at me, wondering why I was fumbling so hard with the kleenex box with one hand while the other was slowly filling with blood... good grief. What I couldn't understand at that moment was why all of the kleenex squares were stuck together for my inconvenience? Always.

After subduing the situation 10 minutes later, I realized I needed to get ready. I could still possibly make it down to the passport office before class. I hurried to get ready, rushed out the door, and saw my bus drive by. Great. While I was sitting at the bus stop waiting for the next bus, I realized that I had forgotten kleenex in case my nose started to bleed again. Double great. Thankfully, it didn't, but my body has a tendency to just randomly give me bloody noses at inopportune times. Being prepared saves me looking like I got the shit kicked out of me... usually.

I eventually got to school before I realized I forgot to bring money for my next payment to Ghana that was due today. Bloody great-- no pun intended (well... maybe it was intended a little). I cursed a bit in my head and then realized I was still very tired and had a lot of studying I should still be doing.

So much to do, so little time. Always...

---

Even though the day started roughly, I tried to maintain a positive mindset going into the rest of the day. I asked myself,

"Is it honestly worth it to make a few little things ruin a perfectly good day?"

The easy answer for me was "no." It wasn't even 10am yet and already I was letting myself get in a rut. I brushed the ill-feelings off as inexcusable and started the day anew, at 10:10am.

I wasn't looking forward to working on Valentine's day, but with my renewed outlook on the day, I tackled it head-on. I was in a great mood despite how busy we got (note to self: people don't make reservations anymore and also bring their kids on dates. Check). One couple (regulars) commented on my happiness:

"You're always smiling!"
"I try," I replied, smiling modestly. "It's better to make the most out of your situation, I figure."
They commented on how long I've been with the company, on and off. "You know, the other waitresses don't smile."
"I know," I confessed. I wish they would... a smile goes a long way in terms of anything-- especially tips.

---

After work, I came home to my boyfriend's surprises for me. He had bought me an ice cream cake from Dairy Queen and a ring... but not just any ring. He bought me a laser ring. And he bought himself a matching one, too.

Lazuring. Caution: Don't point at helicopters: You'll get arrested.

Thankfully, this will last us.. a few days, at least.

Flattering!

I sometimes wonder if that's as close as I'll get to actual jewelry from the guy. I love him to death, and even though I'm in no rush for anything like that, I wonder-- truly wonder-- how long it may take him to build up to it. He's a shy guy. And... so help me, if he asks me to marry him over MSN...

....I would probably still say "yes." *Sighs pathetically*

...More on how John asked me out in another entry, I suppose... Long story short, it did involve MSN. =P


Anyway... As I said on my facebook status yesterday, 

"...wants to wish everyone a happy Valentine's Day! Who cares if it's a Hallmark holiday? Surround yourself with the people you love and make the most of the day... ♥"

 Take care everyone, and until next time...!

(How did you celebrate Valentine's day, if at all? What are your thoughts and feelings on the day?)

5 Things That I Like

Hey all! I was tagged in this "5 things I like" thinger, sooo... I will oblige. I am supposed to tag 5 people afterwards to also complete this and those people are to do this and tag people, too. It's not mandatory, but I figured I would do it just for the fun of it! Without further ado, here it goes!

1. Young Things:

Not to sound like a pedophile or anything, but I love little, young things! Kitties, babies, ducklings, mini-cupcakes before they grow up into big cupcakes... anything that is small, I like it!

2. Pink:

As some of you may know, I love the colour pink. This actually only came about maybe around... 2004-2005. I used to hate pink, but then I realized I look very good in it, so I started sporting it. A lot of people know me by this signature colour, but lately, I've been trying to expand my wardrobe colours... now I'm known by my lime-green Lululemon hoodie. =P

3. Communication and languages:
I happen to love languages. They're incredibly hard to learn for me now, but one of my passions is to learn languages and communicate with people. I suppose it stems from my love for story-telling... not sure! So because of this, I will persevere and continue to work hard!

4. Hoodies ("Bunnyhugs" if you're from Saskatchewan, but they're totally backwards there, so... ;p):
I cannot survive without wearing a hoodie, especially in cold, lame, Canada, haha. I probably have more hoodies than I do any other article of clothing (maybe with the exception of t-shirts). To celebrate Valentine's day, I am wearing my heart hoodie! ...People probably think I'm lame for that, but whatever.

5. Writing and Literature:

I love to write and read. I'm sure people could assume that by how verbose I can be in my entries (quality > quantity, yes?). My favourite type of book is fantasy, but I'm also partial to law fiction (<3 John Grisham). I'm currently (slowly) reading "The Eye of the World" by Robert Jordan on my bus rides to and from school, as a recommendation from my good friend. I read the "Sword of Truth" series by Terry Goodkind before this, which... has a glaring resemblance to this series. It's to my understanding The Wheel of Time series began first, which hurts my heart, because I loved The Sword of Truth series sooo much... sigh. I digress.

Alright! So... here's who I will be tagging!

1. Angela @ CravingCupcakes
2. Tara @ The Word For Love Is...
3. Elisa @ Elisa's Volunteer Challenge
4. Mayan @ YerFavourite
5. Rhea @ Sparkover

Thanks all! And sorry if this kinda stuff annoys you...

Falling Behind

Admittedly, I've been really slacking with everything lately. Everything except for ITG, which is one of the few things I look forward to these days.

One of the major things I've been slacking with is my diet. Since December, I've used the excuse of "It's the holidays, I can cheat." Maybe I'm taking a little too much credit for that... *Looks over at John's direction* ...but either way, it's my fault that I've fallen behind in this area. I am the master of my own domain, and although sometimes the love of my life can be a bad influence, I should be able to be my own person and do my own thing. But... now I'm getting quite down about it, as I've gained about 8lbs back. John assures me it's mostly water weight. I hate feeling uncomfortable in my own skin.

I also haven't found time for the gym. I've been so focused and driven to earn enough money to go to Ghana that I've put going to the gym on the back burner. In all truthfulness, I do want to go to the gym. I want to go in the mornings before my classes. I even set my alarm to go off at 6am. And it does. And I turn it off and realize I'm still very tired and I go back to bed. I don't even think I stay up all that late. I usually go to bed at 11pm, but for some reason... I'm just exhausted. All of the time...

The cold has also kept me away from our Sunday jogs. That's another thing that I'm actually quite willing to do, and yet... I was so cold that one time we did it (at -5C or so) that I've been worried about going again in anything around that temperature. I bought a nice new windbreaker and everything... and it's still sitting in the bag.

Finally... my studies. I do study when I can, but that doesn't seem to be often. It doesn't seem like I need to do too much extra textbook reading and I do read my notes, but for some reason, I feel like I'm far behind. I've only had a few tests lately, and I've only gotten feedback on half of the few tests. I seem to be doing well. Maybe I'm needlessly worrying.

Despite all of that, I am keeping up with various other things. I've been doing a lot of paperwork in preparation for my trip and I've been applying for scholarships. Tomorrow, first thing in the morning with John, I'll be handing in my passport application, which is good. I also need to make another payment for the trip and hand in my student loan forms (as I honestly don't believe I'll earn enough money in time, sadly). At very least, the loans will be there as a buffer in the chance I don't earn enough money. But... as I've said, I've been working really hard lately to save up.

As I've mentioned previously, I've picked up a few shifts at the old restaurant I used to manage. I've been putting a lot of my tip money towards my cause. At school, even though I don't have more note taking opportunities, I've taken up a lot of tutoring opportunities instead. The nice thing about this is that most of my students are in need of Spanish help. This helps me, too, with my own Spanish needs, so it's a mutually beneficial relationship we have going on. I tutored for the first time on Friday a Stats student as well. I was incredibly anxious and nervous about it, as I had just barely received a B+ in the course. The reason I decided to tutor it was, again, to help myself too. The lady I'm tutoring is actually doing much better than me, but the help she needs I happen to be really good at. That being said, our first session was a success and restored some of my confidence.

What else can I say? ITG has been fruitful. I've been passing a lot of new 12's. A friend of mine sold me her shoes-- Puma Tapers-- for $75, and they make a world of difference. My FA has been going way up as a result!

First attempt at this song resulted in a pass.

My old best on this was... 98% or something? So quite the improvement!

....same with this as Infection.

I'm getting close to my first quad-star (100%)!

Pretty good, all things considered. Most songs aren't as long as this one is!

...And I realize most of you don't understand what I'm talking about when I say all of that, but... it's good, I assure you! Just think: the hardest stuff on DDR (Dance Dance Revolution) was graded at a 10. FA = fantastics, which are like "perfects" in DDR. ...Ahh, maybe if anyone's interested, you can inquire further... haha.

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One thing that may just get me off of my lazy ass is that one of my friends asked me if I would be interested in a fitness challenge of sorts. I accepted, as I do love a good challenge, and he gave me this:

"A: Learn to do the splits.
and/or
B: Pass a 14 Footer =D" (ITG-related)

I told him I would attempt both before the end of this year. As you may recall, one of my New Years' Resolutions is to pass a 13 in ITG. I feel as though I'm quite close with my Resolution goal, so I believe a 14 will be coming up at least by the end of the year. As for the splits, my friend knows that I want to improve my flexibility.

He's truly a sweetheart... he's always thinking of others and remembers what people tell him. =)

Anyway... I have ambitions for Reading Week, which is coming up after this week, to get ahead in my studying so that I can have some time to hit the gym in the mornings. Ambitions, mind you. I've been through a few Reading Weeks in my time in university, and I can honestly tell you that it rarely pans out like that... But this year, I hope, will be different. I also have grand plans to do some more baking and cooking for John, as the poor man has to do it all with my busy schedule... and by cooking, I mean, we go out for wings 3 times a week. Surprisingly, this does not go against our diet, so long as we stay away from breaded wings and sauces. =P

With that being said, I ought to go to bed now. I'm feeling ambitious now, but if I don't go to bed early, that may fade away when my alarm goes off... so goodnight world, and until next time...!

Tumblr

A few days ago, I decided to get a Tumblr account. I've been posting videos that remind me of why I'm here, doing what I'm doing. It helps. I look forward to posting inspirational quotes and things, too, when I come across them.

If you're interested in checking it out, click here. There's also a link on my sidebar!

I'm also very interested in what others have to share, too! So if you have a Tumblr, add me or link me to your account below. =)

-Krista

Wordless Wednesday #3

One step foward, two steps back

Well... after some time spent convincing myself that I should just plow through this semester doing the best that I can, as always, I was stopped short by another few hurdles. Wednesday's picture was about a new-found awakening in my will to study! ...and my life in general as of late.

For about a year or so now, I've been rudely awoken by cramps in my leg. Always the same leg, always the same spot, and always when I'm sleeping. It's enough to wake me up from my sleep and practically paralyze me with the sheer intensity of the pain. The latest incident happened a couple days ago. I'm still suffering from it, especially when I'm walking down stairs. Lately, it hurts just to walk. I'm a little worried and I've been debating whether or not I should see a doctor about this. If anything, I'll hopefully get an answer as to how to stop it from happening.

Not to make it sound like an excuse for this next point, but I haven't really practiced my jogging besides that first and only time a few weeks ago. In all honesty, I haven't been able to find the time to go to the gym. I know I need to make the time, and I'm hoping to go tonight if my leg is up for it. I'm actually very disappointed in myself. I've really let myself go with this goal and my diet goals... I need to get back on track, and thankfully, John has agreed to do it with me starting Monday. It would be sooner, but I agreed to take my youngest sister to dim sum.

Not an excuse, I swear.

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To change gears to hopefully a happier topic choice, I've gotten a lot of requests for peer tutoring. I start my second tutor session with a student for Spanish and I will hopefully also be tutoring in Statistics too. This is happy because the more money I make, the closer I'll be to Ghana. Not only that, but a full schedule generally keeps me on track for school work and things, so fingers crossed that it'll work.

After seeing a bunch of my friends' bad romance comedy blog-ring reviews, I got jealous and decided to do the next one for March. I'm also thinking about whether or not to join the karaoke blog-ring of death, but... I'm shy enough as it is. I'm slowly working myself up to being in front of a camera, still... I know, I'm so awkward when it comes to a camera. I'm a completely different person when no camera is involved: talkative, loud, confident, happy... Throw a camera into the mix and I'm silenced with the suffocation of my... insecurities?

I think little improvements here and there will help with my overall confidence. I just have to keep thinking positively...!

That's my update for now! Until next time...!

Wordless Wednesday #2